Day 6: Cry me a River {#write31days}

Pardon me while I spill my guts…

For the past 48 hours, I have cried at the drop of a hat. A nail went into a board crooked: sobbing. My baby fell asleep while rocking: sobbing. I looked at our pitiful dog: sobbing. Our three-year-old decided he needed to jump on my back without warning me: sobbing. Stared at piles of boxes in garage: sobbing.

It seems that e v e r y t h i n g has hit me at once. It’s as if I didn’t realize until a couple days ago that this moving thing is actually going to happen–granted something could fall through last minute. {Please spare me your horror stories of closing day catastrophes}, but it seems things are actually falling into place and we are moving in FIVE days. We don’t have to be out until the 17th, but this coming Saturday is the ONLY one between now and closing. AHHHHHHH. So for the past 48 hours, anything I see triggers a memory or some thought that leads to tears. Thoughts about how we are leaving the only home my babies have ever known, or all our Christmases as a married couple have been within these walls. These walls have heard the first giggles and first words of my boys. They’ve heard my cries of desperation during middle of the night feedings. And I am suddenly scared to death to leave them.

C.S. Lewis quotable

I know the wise words of C.S. Lewis, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind,” but if I’m being perfectly candid, that doesn’t help me not want to just curl up in a ball and cry. I don’t do well with change, but in the next five days, I’ll have to put my big girl pants on and “do the next thing.”

Any words of wisdom or encouragement regarding change/transition/moving?

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15 thoughts on “Day 6: Cry me a River {#write31days}

  1. It’s called grieving. It’s normal, especially when you’re leaving memories. But you don’t really leave them, you take them with you. We moved from our first home where we had all three of our boys grew up when they were 10, 12, and 14. When we were painting the house to get it ready for the new owners, I lost it when we had to paint over the doorway where we had marked their height as the grew. So I took a picture.

    Grieving is normal – and you’ll make new memories!

  2. I experienced those same emotions. Every time. That’s been at least half a dozen times during our 20 plus years in the military. That was 15 years ago. Now, our house is on the market, again, for final retirement. It’s going to be tough. All we can do is to look back and see the wonderful friends and memories that were made while at our current place and know it’ll be the same the next move. God has something wonderful waiting for the both of us.

      • I’m so thankful I was given the opportunity to be a small part of the military community. And with that, all four of my children, as well as both sons in law have all served. There’s something very special about the bonding that takes place with military families.

  3. Be easy on yourself! Just put one box in front of you and fill it. And be grateful for all the pictures you have to go along with the memories. We moved from our first house nine years ago (kids were 5, 4, 2, 1), and while I was sad, THIS house is the one they regard as home. Your next house will be that way for your little guys! And no matter where you are, as long as mama is there, that will be home.

    • Thank you for the sweet words, Cheryl. I thought about that the other day–my oldest may barely remember our current home and my youngest won’t at all. Hanging on to that thought and that the next place will be HOME too.

  4. This is so sweet. But moving can be a time to purge, clean out, prioritize, and get a fresh start. I have lived in the same house with my husband for 22 years. His parents lived here before us. A couple of moves would have done us a lot of good because when my kids finally moved out I realized how much stuff had been crammed into closets and the attic. I’ve been purging for over a year! Hope your new adventure is full of blessings and wonderful things for you and your family. And crying over a nail that went in crooked? I thought everyone did that! 😉

    • Michelle, we are purging here like crazy! I have a friend who said she thought it was good to move every five years just for that purpose, and thank you for not thinking I’m crazy about crying over a crooked nail! 🙂

  5. It can be so hard to leave when it’s not a happy decision. We have moved eight times in the last 14 years. Two of those moves were heart-breaking. But I agree that it is a great opportunity to clean out closets and make a fresh start. You will get through it though. I find that it takes me about six months to adjust emotionally once the move takes place. Hang in there!

  6. Just letting you know I’m praying for you. Moving is hard. You got this. Also, trying out our new pediatrician today for the first time–yet another super fun part of moving! 😛 (Also, it’s really okay to let yourself have those cry days. Just making sure to give you permission in case you’re having trouble doing so. Sometimes, when we cry, we get it out of our system and it’s easier to face the next thing.)

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